For nearly all people, the path to personal change and self-improvement is a long and winding boulevard filled with complex barriers. Drug companies in particular have capitalized on and created immense fortunes because of the elusive search for the ?Magic Pill? that will cure all ills. As it turns out, there is a secret formula for success, and it begins in the human mind.
One of the presuppositions of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that ?there is a positive intention behind all behaviors.? And based on that rule, when it comes to successfully eliminating negative behaviors, there is an equation that we should keep in mind. I?ll let you in on the secret equation in a minute. But I have a riddle for you to solve first.
Riddle: A holy man made his son drink lye, which burned out his vocal chords. What was the positive intent behind his behavior?
If you are like most of the clients who have visited my office since 1978, you?ll angrily say something like: ?There?s no positive intention behind that behavior.? But you would be completely in error. To answer this riddle, you have to detach the behavior from the positive goal of the behavior.
The preacher?s son was cursing. And the preacher believes that if a child curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the preacher was burning out his son?s vocal cords so that he couldn?t curse. By doing so, he was saving his son?s soul from being fated to Hell.
The secret equation for successful personal change works as follows:
We must value the positive intention that motivates every behavior. If we have an impulse to apply a behavior that we don?t like, we can quickly get rid of the compulsion to use that behavior. All we need to do is to find another behavior and substitute it in its place. To be successful, the new conduct must be as available and effective at accomplishing the same outcome, but be more consciously acceptable. This is called a REFRAME.
When clients come into my office, one of the first things that I do is to take a detailed case history. In this example, let?s say that they come to my office and ask me to help them eliminate their weight problem. Experience tells us that the two main reasons that people eat too much food are: (1) to tranquilize themselves; (2) because eating can be a behavior triggered by other behaviors that it has been associated with (this is also known as a conditioned response). For example, if a person eats while they are talk on the phone, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they talk on the phone they will get an urge to eat.
However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible positive intention behind the eating behavior. What if they also have another behavior that is concerned in the equation? For instance: What if being tubby is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind working away right now as you think, ?Being chubby isn?t a behavior, what are you talking about??
Sorry but you could be totally wrong. Here is one simple classic textbook example that will illustrate the fact that being obease can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can accomplish positive outcomes.
Example: A woman falls deeply in love. Her partner breaks up with her, and breaks her heart. Her subconscious wants to protect her emotionally and keep her from ever having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get tubby to keep her out of relationships. Because if she isn?t in a relationship she won?t get her heart broken again.
Everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are unconscious elements at work causing compulsive behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person.
Here is another example: A woman comes into my practice complaining of an out of control urge to eat way too much at mealtime. During the case history, the woman tells me about how she has never been able to please her dad.
During an age regression, we learned that one of her earliest memories was of eating dinner with the family. And dad was insisting in an angry voice that she eat everything on her plate, even though she was stuffed. So she finished the food on her plate because of fear, and dad praised her for eating everything. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her father telling her that he was happy with her.
Shoot forward to present day. Dad has been dead for many years, but the unconscious program he programmed is still working. She still has an urge to eat all of the food on her plate, even if she is feeling stuffed to the gills, because by cleaning the plate, in her unconscious mind she is getting dad?s approval, and eliminating her own fear!
So if you find it difficult to make personal changes, remember that there is a positive intention behind all behaviors. And the secret formula for success is to substitute another behavior that will accomplish the same secondary gain, but in a mode that is more consciously satisfactory to you, as an individual. The most effective way to get your unconscious to accept the responsibility for making this kind of change for you is through an NLP 6-Step Reframe.
Tags: hypnosis, hypnotherapy, hypnotism, hypnotist, lose weight, NLP, quit smoking, stop smoking secret
bipolar symptoms qi osama bin laden osama bin laden main main atlanta
কোন মন্তব্য নেই:
একটি মন্তব্য পোস্ট করুন